By Eva Thompson

During workshops that I've given on "burial options" and caring for our own dead, one question I'm often asked is, "Where can I scatter the ashes?" There's an awful lot of folks out there storing their loved ones' ashes on a closet shelf because they don't know what the rules are about the scattering of ashes, or can't agree among family members.

There's a lot of clandestine scattering of ashes going on, too. Who is going to know or care, if you dump ashes off your own boat or dock? But there are rules about the scattering of ashes you should know before you decide on the "don't ask, don't tell" method.

First, you are technically supposed to obtain a permit. Then, you're supposed to be sure that the remains have been pulverized so there are no recognizable bone or tooth fragments (usually done automatically by the crematorium, but you're supposed to confirm this so no one suspects foul play upon finding human bone fragments).

You may scatter ashes on your own property. On private property, simply obtain permission from the landowner. Individual National Parks set their own rules: check www.nps.gov/parks.html. Generally, they ask that you stay at least 100 yards from any trail, body of water, or historic site. You are asked not to scatter ashes from the top of Mt. Katahdin.

Scattering at sea, you're supposed to be a certain distance off shore (although California changed the rules recently to make it safer and easier for people) - check with your individual state. I hope you have an easier time than I did, at this: a search of www.maine.gov using several different search criteria turned up various technical bills and regulations for crematoriums; nowhere could I find a simple list of rules for the public trying to do the right thing in scattering ashes. No wonder there is so much "don't ask, don't tell" going on!

The EPA also has their own regulations which depend on the region you live in, so you may want to check with their website, too. Obviously we don't want ashes washing up on the beaches where we swim and play with our kids, and fisherman don't want to bring up urns with their fishing nets, either. Paper and other biodegradable urns are available. Be a good consumer, and use common sense.

Some churches have memorial gardens where ashes can be scattered. In her book Caring for the Dead, Lisa Carlson points out the benefits to churches who offer this service to their members: "the practice not only brings needed revenue to churches, it also encourages families to return to church more frequently."  My own ‘home church' in Rochester, NY has a lovely memorial garden on their property, and both my brother's and my father's ashes are scattered there. It's lovely to have a place to go to remember them; to sit on benches among the shade plants when I'm in town. Inside the church is a plaque on the wall listing the names, and a book that tells about each of the people who is memorialized in the garden. Maybe you can encourage your church to create such a place.

Cremation is an increasingly popular option for disposition. In his book Grave Matters, Mark Harris predicted that the percentage of people choosing cremation would be 45% by the year 2025. I've seen figures even higher in other places. A very informal, unscientific personal observation: when handing out literature at this year's Common Ground Fair, a very high percentage waved it off saying "I'm just going to be cremated." This is fine; we're not here to promote any one type of disposition over another. But since cremation appears to be the increasingly popular way to go, we need to improve our pollution standards (to prevent the release of mercury into the environment) and we need to provide more places made available for the scattering of ashes. Europe is way ahead of us in this issue; requiring pollution emission controls for crematoriums by 2012.

Some cemeteries are now setting aside areas for the scattering of ashes. But for those who don't care for the cemetery option and don't have an association with a church, we'd like to see more public gardens allow the scattering of ashes. Anything we at FCAMaine can do to help clarify the issue would be helpful, as the State does not make it easy to know the rules about the scattering of ashes.